The Corner of 42nd and 6th

This Thursday, I went to New York for a business trip.  Walking from the train station to my hotel, I walked north along 6th Ave by Bryant Park.  As I crossed 42nd St, I had this weird flood of nostalgia.  For three summers and every Wednesday for a school year, I would walk along 42nd St from one side of Manhattan to the other, going between the bus station and a series of internships that I held.  It was like I was crossing paths with my former self.  I was thinking, if my former self walking east encountered my current self walking north, what would he think?  What would please him?  What would surprise him?

• He would have been happy that I was on a business trip and someone thought my insight was valuable enough to bring me to another city.  As an intern, it was so hard to show I had value.  That would have felt good

• He may have been surprised that I didn't live in or near New York.  Younger me thought my future was almost certainly there.

• He would have been disappointed that I wasn't involved in anything having to do with the UN or international politics.  He would probably find my job interesting, but it wasn't what he was working for.

• He would be happy that I retained a lot of the same friends, but disappointed that I'm no longer as close with the ones I thought I would rely on as family.

• He would like my husband.  He would find him really fun and interesting.

• He would be surprised that I took up rock climbing.  Younger me was always really bad at it.  I think he would be really glad to hear it, though

• He would be very surprised that I primarily had gay friends.  Younger me thought the idea of a separate gay community was stupid.  We would probably have an argument about it, since older me believes very strongly in it.  I think he would like most of my friends, though.  I think he would also be surprised by how many friends I had.  Younger me preferred to rely on a small, close group.  Older me prefers to be a social butterfly.

• He would be really angry that I started enjoying pop music and went out to clubs a lot.  Younger me hated pop music with a burning passion.  Hopefully younger me would accept that pop had gotten much better and dancing can be fun with the right people.  Hard to say, though.

Autumn Approaching

Changes in perspective can occur so slowly that you don't notice them...

If anyone read this blog a few years ago, I wrote a post about how Autumn always seemed very unsettling.  It was connected with going home, it was tied to a shift from a carefree time, it was a time for introspection, etc.  I mapped out how the past five Autumns or so had been very unsettling.  And then I deleted it because it had a ton of personal information.

Yesterday, I was walking with my mother in law near their house.  Ever the pleasant person, she was talking about how excited she was for Autumn, given all the harvest food and holidays where everyone got together.

And I agreed.  And then I stopped a little surprised.

Last Autumn was fantastic.  I went climbing outside a lot.  I think I was doing some fun projects (minus one horrible one around Thanksgiving).  I saw my parents and my in-laws and my cousins.  Our patio got finished and we had a big party to celebrate.  I dressed up as a lobster for Halloween.  And I ate a lot of root vegetables.  I like root vegetables.

The last days of August are oppressive where I live.  The heat sits over the city like a thick, humid soup.  The cicadas blare all day and night.  People escape the city when they can, and all the bars and restaurants take on a bit of an empty feeling.  Work is like a ghost ship, where we just try to stay above water while everyone is on vacation, wearing our t-shirts and jeans.

Then, like a fever breaking, the temperature drops a bit.  Usually around mid-September.  It still feels like summer, but like the good parts.  And then, there are the Jewish high holidays, usually still bright and warm.  Then the air gets crisp and pumpkin flavoring finds its way everywhere.  And then suddenly it's Thanksgiving and everyone is ushered into a season of endless holiday parties and celebrations.

How could I not enjoy this?  I'm stable.  I'm in love.  I have some wonderful sweaters.

The only thing remaining is to hope that we go from strength to strength...

So Far Away from the Past

The format of this blog was supposed to be pretty simple:  I'd reflect on a memory and give a modern reflection.  Theoretically, this format made sense.  I'm a pretty nostalgic guy.  That nostalgia influenced my current state.

But lately I haven't felt that nostalgia.  After 4 1/2 years in the same place, I feel pretty grounded.  My current home is my home.

This week, my city had a huge snowstorm.  Growing up, we would sort of lock ourselves at home.  Even my senior year of college, the "year zero" on which I have indexed my life for a while, we didn't really leave the house.  Who would we see?

The second night of the snowstorm, we had one one friend invite us over for dinner.  Another friend had a party later that night.  That party ended and we walked to an after party in another apartment.  The next day, when I was trying to work from home, a friend texted me and asked us to come play in the park in the snow.  We walked over and ran into at least 10 people we know.  We even invited a neighbor we had just met to join.  Everyone in the neighborhood was having a snowball fight, snowboarding, sledding down the stairs on pieces of cardboard, building forts...  It was like the idyllic childhood I never had.  I just kept smiling.

For the past two days, I've been in Boston.  I have a lot of old college friends here.  I love seeing them, but realistically, it's visiting.  I don't feel like I'm back in college -  my home is in DC now.  It's more of a home than I ever had.

Please drop me a line if you read this blog.  I assume no one does, so I'm always curious.

Evan